two posts in one!!!

Things that I miss about the north (home in general, but the north too)
1) the slower speed of life
2) good food
3) stars
4) being able to walk down the middle of the road without worrying about being hit by a car
5) cheap movies
6) good friends


I am never wrong

there you have it, will explain later

Noodle out.

I hate stupid people

So today I was in Burlington and I was just browsing bookstores, making lists of books I feel like I should own and when I was in Borders, I came across a bunch of Ann Coulters' books, including How to talk to a liberal. Now just as a message for anyone who doesnt know me, I think that this is one of the dumbest things out there and honestly believe that this is one of the major problems with politics (I almost wrote religion) today. As a result, I have decided that I need to write a book as a response to this one, not as a liberal handbook for talking to conservatives, but rather as a guidebook for burning witches (warlocks too) and fanatics.

The first part of the book is a location guide, a manner to figure out who qualifies as a witch (or warlock) and a fanatic. Now it would take some thinking on my part to actually generate criteria, but most likely it would involve outspokenness, publishing books that are purely moronic in their loudmouth style of politics and turning people into newts. I am also open to more suggestions on criteria for being witches (or warlocks) and fanatics.

After this, it is a matter of teaching people that there should be public burnings in order that we teach proper methods of behaviour. Once the message that the burnings are to be public, the last topic to be covered should be the proper method of creating the fires. This means that we need to teach people how to create proper fires with dry wood as to maximize the burning potential, and that gasoline should be used only in dire straits when dry wood is impossible to find. People should also be tied to a single post that is in the center of the fire and slightly raised to make sure that the flames reach the people.

So, as mentioned above, if anyone has any suggestions on how to portray my message in this book, just let me know and unfortunately (for some), I probably wont be around long after I write this as if outspokenness is one of the criteria, I may very well fall into the category and no longer be around.

Anywhoo, thanks for listening,

Noodle out.

Wow, I suck

Once again there is a blank post. It builds character.

What I meant to say was:
I dislike Christmas. I have weighed and judged it and found it lacking, therefore we should eliminate it and instead have a national holiday strictly for the purpose of exchanging gifts. Hell, it could even be on December 25 for all I care. Frankly what I get annoyed about it is that it is a time all of my friends go to their respective homes and then their grandparents, people I dont really give a rats ass about, visit them and take up the entire day, and sometimes multiple days visiting with them, making it nigh impossible for me to hang out with my friends. On top of this, all the businesses close so if I decide that I would like to get a nice refreshing iced tea, I cant. Now, one might say that if I wanted a nice refreshing iced tea, then I should have gotten it earlier in the day, but this just doesnt suit me. I didnt want the tea earlier, I want it now and nothing is open. (this is just an example and I dont particularly want an iced tea right now).

Now, I would not be at all opposed to removing christmas and other such holidays from the calender all together, but if I did, people would protest becuase people like to get shit from other people on particular days of the year. I for one would rather that everyone just gave me shit all the damn time and not just on those days, so have no problem proposing their elimination, but to appease thost hypocrites of my system (to be fair, I am the only one benefiting from the system unless people like to give me stuff), I have decided to propose a day of gift giving (if you still want to give me stuff, it will be accepted). And just to point out, this gift giving holiday MUST be done from afar if you intend to take up the time of my friends by coming into town.

As for another thing, why the hell does Jesus have us celebrating his birthday? Its just not fair. No good son of god. Bastard. Now, all of this complaining does have a point and that is to say that we should not be celebrating the birthday of Jesus--we should be celebrating mine. Now tell me-what does Jesus have going for him that I dont? Hell, I am closer to a college degree than he ever was. Plus I am probably stronger and a better military tactician than he was. So what that he founded one of the world's largest religions based on him being the son of God? I can do that. Right now, I will found it. There we have it, a brand new relgion named...Noodlanity. Now to actually get a base for my religion I will need: people to take out the pope and capture the vatican, soldiers to protect my followers from the millions of christians who havent seen the light yet and the millions of muslims who will never see the light and will invariably call for a jihad, millions of dollars in donations so that I will never have to work again and can fund this operation, a board of trustees to be my braintrust and get us actually up and running and finally lots of volunteers to spread fliers.

Thanks to all of you who listen, I dont usually know what I am saying

Noodle out
Happy Holidays


PS I was pretty bored tonight.

l'ultima form of procrastination...

Here goes....

What I should be doing right now (in terms of what is most fun):
t-1 playing video games
t-1 watching tv
t-1 reading a good book
t-1 sleeping
t-1 playing sports
6 eating
7 taking a shower
8 surfing the internet
9 calling home
10 studying ottoman
11 italian presentation

What I should be doing right now (in terms of importance to me)
1 playing sports
2 sleeping
t-3 video games
t-3 tv
t-3 book
6 shower
7 surfing the internet
8 eating
9 italian
10 ottoman
11 calling home

What I should be doing right now (in terms of importance to other people, ie my parents)
1 italian
2 ottoman
3 calling home
4 shower
5 sports
6 book
7 eating
8 sleeping
9 internet
10 tv
11 video games


This very imporant study shows us some important into insights about human nature. Adults are full of shit. This is a very important lesson to learn because as our generation grows older, we need to make sure that we do not make the mistakes of the past again, most importantly that we do not misplace our priorities. Learn this and learn it well.

Noodle out.

PS I purposely left spending time with Nomi off because we both theoretically have work to do today

PPS I hope my parents dont read my blog...