Those of us going into politics need to learn from history...

As the common adage goes, we must learn from the past to avoid repeating history's mistakes.

So, here is my list of things we need to take away from history in order to survive.

1) Gods are real.
2) The gods like me better than you.
3) Dont piss off the gods.
4) We can predict the future by reading entrails.
5) Women and outsiders are second class citizens at best.
6) Slavery is necessary.
7) If we dont like someone, then they are either homosexual or communist or both.
8) Rape, loot and burn. Very important they are done in the correct order.


Follow my instructions and we shall be led into a utopian society

Noodle out.

bloody hell...

Maybe my parents are right. Maybe I'm not smart enough to be here.

Noodle out.

Well, seeing as I have nothing better to do...take two...

I am a fucking genius...this is about the third time I have accidentally published my blog and it fucking sucks. Fucking bullshit, pardon the language. Actually fuck that. I dont giving a fucking shit what you fucking think about my fucking language, so shove it asshole.

I like swearing, if you couldnt tell....*does a happy dance*

Anyway, it had been a week since I last updated and I had the day off school, resulting in me sitting here and being bored, so I have decided to write something. Continue for substantial thought.

Procopius is an ass (not to mention an idiot). Seriously. His 'Secret Histories' are just full of inconsiquential bullshit. Sure, its fun to read (always a plus), but he really isnt recording history. He is recording ancient soap operas in his story about Belisarius, Theodosius and Antonina, and in his story about Justinian and Theodora, he is basically just being superstitious and writing shit about the emperor on the grounds that he is being christian in telling the world of this.

The section about Belisarius is Procopius talking about how he was there, with the general and therefore knows how the events went down. According to him, Belisarius adopted Theodosius as an heir, only to find out that his unfaithful wife (Antonina) was sleeping with the young man. This kept going on, Belisarius always sending Theodosius away, but never getting a divorce. He also seems to be of the opinion that Belisarius was an idiot and possibly dangerous to the state, sanctioning the exiles that were endured, even though Belisarius was never anything but loyal to the emperor. See what I mean? Top quality, grade A, choice cut soap opera material.

For dealing with the emperor and empress, he begins with a long description of Theodora as a child, being the youngest of three girls, all of whom were performers/prostitutes. According to him, Theodora was the worst, acting as a young male prostitute before being old enough to act as a woman, then being a female prostitute, sometimes not even charging. Also according to Procopius, she would go onto stage with only a loincloth on (the bare minimum) and prance around all but naked. Further, when she got older, she supposedly went to dinner parties with young men and have sex at the table, other times taking multiple men into her bed, exhausting all of them before the night was over. Procopius is very, very convinced that she was the ultimate slut, being very thorough in his descriptions.

Now, the man who married 'the slut' was Justinian, who, according to Procopius, was a demon come to earth. He and Theodora loved bloodsport and were cruel and evil. Supposedly, all of Africa was laid to waste, with more than 1 billion people killed during the reign throughout the Mediterranean basin. Further, women were now allowed to cheat on their husbands because if their husbands tried to divorce or harm them, they would go to Theodora who would expunge them of the crime. Finally, the pair was to be known as the Mistress and Master of the state.


As I was saying, Procopius is odd and likes to blame everything on other people, such as earthquakes that he blamed on Justinian. At least he wasnt a whiney bitch like Cicero.

And now I have fufilled my obligatory weekly rambling session. If I think of something to write later that might actually have more than a summary of something I read over the weekend, I will post it

Noodle out.

the world needs to know...

The world needs to know what I did this morning. I woke up at 10, fully expecting to study for half an hour and eat breakfast, then go take my political science exam. Instead, I fell back asleep until 10:30, rolled out of bed, grabbed my books for the test and went to it, getting there as class started. I then read 120 pages in the first 10-15 minutes of the exam (1o minutes of the exam and a couple of minutes beforehand after I was done my outline). The ending was rather dull as I wrote five pages in half an hour and finished, but it was still cool and I think I did well...also the total pages that I read out of about 450 was 150, including the 120 right before the exam started.

Well, not to much else is happening except I keep feeling like I have been emotionally shot in the gut, which isnt good.

Oh well. I have to write some letters to people who responded to me, but now that I got over the worst two days in my year so far, I should be fine.

tata for now.

Noodle out.

PS Happy birthday to Tom and Sarah (october 10)

Bloody hell....

This weekend is getting off to a bad start and thats all I am going to say on the subject.

On the bright side, I am smarter than the history channel. They were doing a show about ancient machines and were talking about Alexandria when they stated that the Plato and Aristotle had walked down those halls....I called them on this immediately. Plato had been dead for ten years when Alexandria was founded and Aristotle was dead ten years after it was, but I doubt that Aristotle would have left the center of learning in the western world to go to a brand new city, still being constructed. So screw you history channel.

And I will say one more time that this is a shitty way to begin the weekend.

If for some reason I cant use aim this weekeend (which is entirely possible), my extension is 94631. I dont mind talking to people on the phone if I receive calls, I just dont call people.

Noodle out.