I hate stupid people

So today I was in Burlington and I was just browsing bookstores, making lists of books I feel like I should own and when I was in Borders, I came across a bunch of Ann Coulters' books, including How to talk to a liberal. Now just as a message for anyone who doesnt know me, I think that this is one of the dumbest things out there and honestly believe that this is one of the major problems with politics (I almost wrote religion) today. As a result, I have decided that I need to write a book as a response to this one, not as a liberal handbook for talking to conservatives, but rather as a guidebook for burning witches (warlocks too) and fanatics.

The first part of the book is a location guide, a manner to figure out who qualifies as a witch (or warlock) and a fanatic. Now it would take some thinking on my part to actually generate criteria, but most likely it would involve outspokenness, publishing books that are purely moronic in their loudmouth style of politics and turning people into newts. I am also open to more suggestions on criteria for being witches (or warlocks) and fanatics.

After this, it is a matter of teaching people that there should be public burnings in order that we teach proper methods of behaviour. Once the message that the burnings are to be public, the last topic to be covered should be the proper method of creating the fires. This means that we need to teach people how to create proper fires with dry wood as to maximize the burning potential, and that gasoline should be used only in dire straits when dry wood is impossible to find. People should also be tied to a single post that is in the center of the fire and slightly raised to make sure that the flames reach the people.

So, as mentioned above, if anyone has any suggestions on how to portray my message in this book, just let me know and unfortunately (for some), I probably wont be around long after I write this as if outspokenness is one of the criteria, I may very well fall into the category and no longer be around.

Anywhoo, thanks for listening,

Noodle out.