I RETAIN MY SOUL!!!!

So as many of you know, for fun sometimes I got to the uber religious christian chatrooms and make an annoyance of myself, try and question what they think or just talk to them. It can be quite interesting, and being rather bored as I am from break and all, I chose to do this tonight. I also decided take down some quotes that I found quite hysterical (although as a warning, it is 3 AM, and it could just be that I am tired.

So the first quote went something like this:

ClarkKent - If Jesus is only lord of the earth then why are Angels encamped around the throne singing Holy is the Lamb

Basically my response to this is that if Jesus is lounging around his dads throne and the angels are there, they wouldnt be singing praise of shortstack there unless God told them to. I mean, I dont know for sure because I have never met the guy, but from what I hear, God can be pretty intimidating and if he tells them to singe 'holy is the lamb' then they damn well better be singing 'holy is the lamb' I mean Jesus is pretty important to christians and while he is powerful and whatnot, he isnt all powerful, whereas God is. Plus God could always make a few more angels for himself if he felt like he was no longer the center of attention.

On another note, how would it feel to be born and then find out that your Dad wants you to die for a lot of people? I would be pretty pissed.

So I was thinking for a while after these Christians told me that the only way one could find salvation was through Jesus, even before Jesus existed. I found this kinda strange and decided that maybe there was some sort of grandfather clause that says that if you died before Jesus died for you, then it was ok and your soul would be redeemed anyway, but apparently all Jews ( and everyone else) who died before that event, bowed down before the son of God before God had a son...its kinda funny to think about.

software - Zashonel, you need to get a hold of truth.....and get saved.....your church is an apostate church....spawned from the evil one to undermine the truth of scripture....come out from amomng

This comment came after I was asked which church I attend. I told them that my mom attends an episcopalian church. Apprently my mom belongs to the liberal church spawned of the devil that believes in equality for people who hold different beleifs and sexual tendencies..somehow it seems to me that if this is the devils work, why wouldnt I want to join God. Plus I think I could find a fair number of pissed off christians who would be pissed off if they heard that statement. Oh well, they are entitled to their beliefs.

seeking more - going to church doesnt save you any more than being in a garage makes you a car

This last one is apparently the reason that belonging to a church is bad. And the number of churches you can belong to is pretty damn limited as these people seemed skeptical about even the catholic church. It also seemed funny to me how they kept insisting that all you needed to be redeemed was a personal relationship with jesus...no matter what you did because we ware all sinners. For some reason this seemed a little general, but I tested the waters a little and it seems like I could kill half the people on the world or say, kill 6 million Jews, but if I was willing to bow before Jesus, I could get into heaven...no strings attatched, which seemed a little strange, but I guess its technically possible.

ClarkKent - You don't get it Zash.... even if there was a perfect churhc... if you don't have a personal relationship with the Father you're on your way to hell man

For some reason I think that these people have their wires a little crossed...esspecially when it comes to deific hierarchy. I think in most peoples books, God stands at the top, not Jesus, but to these people , THE ONLY way you are getting salvation is through Jesus, and apparently I could be like drinking buddies with God, but when it comes time to be admitted into heaven, JESUS is gonna make HIS FATHER not let me in. Anyway, I just wanted to point out that in most societies, sons usually listen to, respect, follow and sometimes even fear their fathers...not take over the family business from the ultimate power in the universe.

elgreco - Jesus said, "I AM the Way, THE Truth, and the Life."

I just found this funny as a response to me saying that there is truth outside of God...something that I firmy beleive. Basically if Jesus said this, I only have one response: he was a cocky bastard and no wonder they crucified him....I might have done the same becuase a statement like that would just piss me off. I think Jesus, whatever his merits was a deprived child who needed constant attention from everyone else and always wanted to be the center of attention.

Peace - thank you for your kind words, Zashonel,

This one was one of my favorites (me being Zashonel). The funny part is that I wasnt being all that nice. I got into an argument with them about how Allah, Adonai and the one they believe in are all the same thing, got accused of being a Muslim, and then one of them said that he was going to leave because he was tired of repeating himself, and I agreed that I was getting tired of repeating myself and that I was leaving. Having said that, I told them that they should go on a crusade or something, and apparently this was a compliment in their eyes...I am not sure if they understood that I didnt mean a theoretical crusade with words and conversion, but rather the kind where you get a whole bunch of people together, put a cross on your cloak and go to the middle east with your swords and spears. I guess the funny part was that I didnt mean it in the nicest way at all...or anything I said. I taunted them on occasion, was a smartass and basically talked circles around them for the stimulation of talking about the bible, but on the crusades department, I wonder if they knew that the christians usually got their asses kicked, got sick or died in any number of other methods. I think they should read up on it a little before they agree to go. Oh well.

Noodle out.

PS If someone wants to play chess or frisbee, I would really appreciate it. I also need to start writing my paper. Fuck.