I dont feel like telling you what I will be writing about...

WARNING!!! TALKS ABOUT SOME PLOT EVENTS OF STAR WARS EPISODE 3

*falls to knees and kow tows for Natalie Portman*

Well, I just got back from star wars (the midnight showing) and I will start off with this--there were some amazing fight scenes, and when there were no fight scenes on the screen, then I got to do my best not to drool over one of the most beautiful people on earth (ok, so it wasnt that bad, but still, I know a couple of girls and more than a few guys who would give quite a bit for that person to ask them to hold her...or have her babies for her). Furthermore, after some careful consideration, I would rate her among the top, if not the most beautiful person I can think of, and when all is said and done, she is more attractive than Catherine Zeta Jones (and while I know that I repeat myself, Catherine is also and older lady who has kept herself looking good despite her age, but Natalie is better).

In my personal opinion, Episode 3 far surpasses 1 and 2 in many ways, but was not the best movie I have recently seen. I will start with this. R2 D2 is the most amazing thing in existance. Second, Yoda comes close. Third, I'm not a girl nor am I gay, so I cant speak for everyone when I say this, but Anakin is definately sexier after his makeover than before. I mean come on, he has the black thing going, he is now bald, which could be a plus, most of his functions are now automated so he can dedicate his full attention to the person, I mean where can you really go wrong? I also feel obligated to say that my impression of Anakin's first dream is that he gets sick to his stomach thinking about Padme in labor. We also know now where Luke gets his temper tantrums/whiny ways, and where Leia gets her hairstyling tips. Finally, I would just like to say (for those who have seen the movie already) that R2 so could have taken the robot general.

Now that I have watched the movie, there are severals indiscrepencies that I have seen between this movie and the events in the original trilogy. The problems that this movie created for many of the books are even worse, but seeing as many people havent read those, I wont go into them, but if you would like to discuss them with me at somepoint, feel free to IM me about it. My first major problem was that Ben Kenobi's ghost talks to Luke and tells him that Darth Vader killed and murdered Anakin, and while true, he also indicates to Luke that it was Darth Vader who was his apprentice (that he was already called Darth Vader), giving the impression that the whole Darth Vader as a name for longer than about two days before the formation of the Empire. This is obviously wrong seeing as the name Darth is the sign of a Sith Lord and if Kenobi was training a guy named Darth, then something went wrong along the way.

Second, Leia describes to Luke their mother, saying that she was beautiful (ummm...I concur) and sad (makes sense...she sorta went through a rough time in her marriage, abusive husband and all), but the problem with this is that she died in childbirth, so either Leia is some sort of super child or something doesnt line up. Luke should have seen the same amount of their mother as Leia, and now that I have seen this, I feel that Leia is just full of shit.

Next, the second Death Star was constructed much quicker than the first was, seeing as the first begins construction at the end of this movie and doesnt get finished until just before episode 4, a span of a minimum of about 18 years. The second one takes less than three to make, and even though it wasnt finished, it was close enough. The timelines dont quite match.

This next one isnt so much a discrepancy as a comment. The empire really doesnt last that long even though people make it out to be such a long and terrible thing. According to my best guess, the minimum the empire lasts is 20 years and the maximum is 25...not very long for a group with such a huge military force.

On the whole, I beleive that the filming of the movie was well done with some exceptions that are as much the actual script as anything else. My first beef with it is the killing of the children, I know that it is supposed to be 'Anakin's big evil act', but it was still a bit over the top in my impression and that they probably could have done without it. The second beef was in the killing of the Jedi, the female alien jedi with a decent body on the flowery planet didn't need to be shot repeatedly after she was down...none of the others were or were shown to have been, but laser blasts kept going over her body after she was down in that case and it bothered me...they might as well have been raped after going down for the amoung of respect they showed her.

I also would have laughed after Mace Windu went down if instead of calling Palpatine 'my lord' if Anakin had called him 'O Toasted One'

I think I have said enough about star wars...nope. Yoda is cool, R2 D2 is awesome, Mace is the only one who could pull of a purple light saber and Natalie Portman is gorgeous/stunning/beautiful and more amazing than words can express. I think that I am going overboard and that I am exceedingly tired, but she is gorgeous.

Noodle out.

PS Natalie Portman....